Think women are second-class citizens?

Think they can be pushed about, just because you’re a male?

Think rules apply to women but not to you?

Think you can use up their lives and cast them aside when you’re bored?

 

Think again.

   

A Call To Arms

Eighteen years ago, among the upper class of Clockworks City, three distinct morons decided they wanted to feel younger and more ‘alive’. To look more successful to those around them who didn’t really matter, but always had to be impressed.   These morons were Charles Buttingway, a famous food chain mogul, Bradley Stittlebrew, a lowly political hack who made his fame writing speeches for politicians who couldn’t think for themselves, and Avery Gavelslam, one of the First District Judges. Three high profile and sickeningly wealthy gnomes, who decided to throw their kind, faithful and ever-supportive wives to the curb.   The jokers never even tried being discrete about it. These marital tragedies hit the tabloid papers by morning coffee. Peggy Buttingway, Robyn Stittlebrew, and Daphne Gavelslam had their faces splashed across the front page of the papers for all the city to ridicule.   What the husbands didn’t realize, was that unlike them—their wives ran in the same social circles. Each of them highly respected and in many instances, revered in both political and charitable societies. Peggy and Daphne had been on the South Side Children’s Hospital committee for four years, while Robyn and Peggy were the founders of the ‘Feed the Children’ campaign for factory working mothers.   All three were on the board of the Women’s Shelter Alliance.   Distraught, confused and utterly abandoned, Peggy, Robyn, and Daphne called upon one another for comfort and support.    

No Rules, No Mercy

When the divorce cases came before the local judge, favors had already been called in.   All three husbands were given the homes, cars and virtually every asset obtained during their marriages…including the kids.   It was a landslide of horror.   Given a single check, as if they were nothing more than fired employees—Peggy, Robyn and Daphne took refuge at the Clockworks Women’s Shelter to lick their wounds.  
“We knew this wasn’t right. Not the divorce per se—our husbands proved to be nothing more than the residue of dog feces you find on your shoe at the end of the day. I specifically mean there was something more going on that being replaced by younger counterparts. So we decided to find out.”
— Peggy Buttingway
   
“It was one thing to say, ‘I don’t want to be with you anymore.’ But quite another to cast a spouse aside without any means, especially when that spouse focused their whole life around you to help you succeed.”
— Daphne Gavelslam
   
“You don’t want to play by the rules?   Fine. Let’s go with that.”
— Robyn Stittlebrew
  What these ladies did next became High-Society legend.    

W.H.I.P.

Throuh all their trails and tribulations, these amazing women started a national organization to battle the injustice against women. Unlike the claims of some—Peggy, Robyn, and Daphne did not attack the gender.  
“There are a lot of good, good men out there and we have no desire to focus a red light on their who love and care for their wives. It’s the ones who prey upon women and take advantage of love and loyalty that we despise!   Make no mistake, W.H.I.P. was established to bring justice to those who truly need it. We are not a hammer for the bitter, unsatisfied, and selfish women out there who, in some cases, may be as guilty as the men we target.”
— W.H.I.P. CEO Daphne (Gavelslam) Tumblebun
  Starting with their own cases, W.H.I.P. openly attacks abusive men by any covert means available. Framing, blackmail, setup (prove it)…even boycotting, just to name a few, have become the everyday speciality of the nearly 2 million members.  

Above the Law

To this day, there is not a single officer, judge, or political leader who will speak up against or oppose W.H.I.P., for fear of unknown repercussions.   Though the organization openly uses illegal tactics against abusive men, W.H.I.P. continues to support their ‘Marriage Counseling Division’ to help couples work out their problems and is the #1 advocate for family planning, and supporting the nuclear family.  

Since the founding of W.H.I.P.:

• Divorce rates have dropped by 32%
• Domestic violence has dropped by 21.7%
• …and child support payments have increased by 48.1% • Female applications to college have increased by 84%  

Way to go ladies!

 

- Höbin

Casteration with a Spoon

With the odds against them, Peggy (Buttingway) Mannafold, Robyn (Stittlebrew) Folder, and Daphne (Gavelslam) Tumblebun brought their husbands to justice through non-traditional means.  

Charles Buttingway

Was fired as CEO from Jibblets, Inc. after it was discovered that all company assets, including 64% of the public company shares were reserved in the name of his ex-wife, Peggy Mannafold to avoid paying taxes.   In lieu of serving prison time, new CEO Peggy Mannafold requested the court to sentence Mr. Buttingway to 20,000 hours of community service as the janitor of the Southbend Women’s Shelter.   Mr. Buttingway openly protested, accusing Judge Judy Brooming of favoritism.   His sentence was increased to 60,000 hours.
jibblets-logo.png
 

Bradley Stittlebrew

Is now trying to make a name for himself in the food-blogging sphere after being publicly shunned by President Shrub as a ‘untrustworthy wordsmith only out for his own aggrandizement.’ The president then released copies of Mr. Stittlebrews personal notebook, with hundreds of sidetones, categorizing popular political figures as ‘morons,’ ‘imbeciles’, and ‘wastes of space’.   His media company, ‘Straightline’ was the target of a hostile takeover just hours later. Jibblets, Inc. snatched up 71% of the available stock at ¢.72 a share, a record low after the Presidents televised comments.   In a public press conference, Straightline’s new CEO Robyn Folder said after a long-deserved vacation with her twin daughters, she will be returning and setting a whole new agenda for the magazines powerhouse staff.
straightline-logo.png
   

Avery Gavelslam

Known for his tough stand against domestic violence, Judge Gavelslam made a shocking call on Bakers vs Bakers, ruling in favor of the wife.   Rumors have been heard that documents with incriminating pictures and audio of his ex-wife fleeing their home after being beaten are floating around. True or not, such documents would end the promising career of the Judge, should they ever come to light.   Judge Gavelslam denies such allegations and told reporters that the judgement in favor of Mrs. Baker was due to overwhelming evidence that her husband was ‘an actual dirtbag who deserves to go to prison’.   No exactly legal terminology—but the public cheered Gavelslam's decisions nonetheless.

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Comments

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24 Jul, 2020 17:59

Oh my goodness I may need assistance as I am seizing up from laughter! Someone save me.


Graylion
Roleplaying
Ruleplaying
Rollplaying
24 Jul, 2020 18:01

I love this so much >:D

25 Jul, 2020 02:51

This is the best!

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