Welcome, welcome, WELCOME Nana and Pappa, Grandma and Grandpa…and those stuck with the charge of the kiddies!
Join the happy, join the content…join those SEEKING REVENGE UPON THEIR OFFSPRING…by entering the KARMA KARNIVAL!!
Where the grandkids cheer and the grandkids laugh…and we pump them full of sugar and spice, right before you hand them back to mommy and daddy.
Karma’s a Fairy Godmother
We know what it’s like to raise a family. To sacrifice your life for your children, only to have them grow up, think they’re smarter than you and then abuse you further by asking you to watch little Tommy and Suzie so they can have a ‘break’.
That’s why we engineered the Karma Karnival, just for YOU!
We LOVE our grandkids—which is why we don’t celebrate their birth once, but FOUR times a year. That way you can win their affections over and over again until it’s ingrained upon their tiny minds that GRANDMA and GRANDPA ARE THE BEST!
All Food is 100% Genetically Engineered
Tommy gluten intollerant? Suzie allergic to double frutose corn syrup?
NOT A PROBLEM!
Our insanely-paid scientists are grandparents too—which means we’ve devised a way to make sure each and every morsel can be irreverently consumed by any child without danger to anything more than a waistline!
We have hundreds of concoctions in the flavors of Chocolate, banana, Blue Raspberry, Butterscotch, Caramel, Cherry, Cinnamon, Coconut, Coffee, Cotton Candy, Fruit Punch, Ginger Spice, Grape, Green Apple, Lemon, Licorice, Lime, Marshmallow, Orange, Peach, Peanut butter, Peppermint, Pineapple, Rootbeer and more.
For those oddball squirts who prefer actual food, we’ve designed meals with a kick—tastes just like a dinner banquette, but with 582% more sugar content!
We have Mac and Cheese Candy Canes, Cheese Balls Ice cream, Gravy Sugar Straws, Pickle Gumdrops, Clam-flavored Doughnuts, and Rotisserie Chicken Creampuffs.
Mom and Dad will Never Find us!
Working closely with the @Government Faction, we paid the extra taxes to make sure our tracks are never discovered by anyone but you!
When you call our hotline, you’ll be required to give your senior citizen ID number—which will unlock our current location. Just make sure you don’t leave that information laying about and your snobby kid’ll never know where their kiddies are until it’s too late.