“It’s about time the @government faction stepped in to assist the public in ridding society of this mental and emotional plague. The Red-Nose Abolishment Act is a good start.”
Clowns used to be a symbol of happiness and joy. Children would cheer when these colorful face-painted individuals flopped about in huge shoes, honking horns and making animals out of balloons. Birthday parties and carnivals would be bursting with children, waiting for their chance to pull on a tie, get squirted by the plastic flower, or receive a rubber sword to play with. But that was then. This is now. The public has turned on this profession with a venom unequalled in recent years, and all with good reason.
Laughs to ScreamsI don’t know where this started—but a wave of perversion and twisted perspective leaked into society. I’m not talking about the actual crimes here—because those are heinous in their own right. I’m taking about the wave of creative dementia that started with Stephen Wing’s monstrous movie ’THAT’. Some will argue with me, but if you look back to the opening month of that movie—some of the most twisted crimes spurred through Clockworks City. Let me share some statistics with you. Since the opening of ‘THAT’, we have had:
- 62% of all bank robbers started wearing clown masks
- Within six months, 11,741 ‘mime’ muggings were reported to Centurions
- Vandalism—specifically clown graffiti—rose by 288%
- Clown-centered psychotherapy for children went up by 1200%
The Red-Nosed Abolishment ActTo help curb the crimes committed by clowns and to address the anger of the public, the Red-Nosed Abolishment Act was passed by a 94-6 vote. This law prevents any manufacturing and/or selling of clown noses, regardless of color. It also requires all professional clowns to be logged in the clown-location database, so the Government Faction knows where they are at all time. Those caught impersonating a clown will also be added to the location database for good measure.
Clown CriminalsThere are famous criminals who wet their appetites after the release of Stephan Wing’s ‘THAT’.
Big-Shoed ButcherJudder Shinkler, a local butcher in District 14B snapped one night and put on his father's clown suit before his killing spree. It was two weeks before Centurions caught the portly man, who had ‘dispatched’ twenty four DMV clerks with meat cleavers.
The Honker CrimesShamas Sprinkler, a janitor at Dock 33 snapped one morning and disguising himself as a Clown Captain, stole a tugboat and ventured into the open waters. Using his clown horn over the loud speaker, the only thing fishermen heard was a honk before being impaled by the tugboat, drowning more than one hundred seamen into the cold ocean waters.
The Red-Nosed CannibalHis identity still being protected by the courts (though it’s rumored that the criminal is the son of a politician), this fully-dressed clown lured unassuming mother-in-laws into dark alleyways with the promise of free shopping spree vouchers. When the killer was caught, twelve chest freezers were found with random body parts, all vacuum packed and dated for consumption.
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