Hi there! My name is Ashlee, and I'm here to tell you about the new friend you WON'T be able to live without!
Here at Ashlee's Awesome Ideas™, our scientists have been working around the clock with our advanced staff of unjustly retired cosmetic technicians to bring you the latest innovation...because we want to make your life better than BEST! ...and oh snuggles, have we've come up with a nipple twister for you!*
Mr. Bobo™ is the ULTIMATE beast of burden for those ON THE GO!
About Mr. Bobo™
The Mr. Bobo™ motto is the Vallen phrase “ez az őrült boszorkány nem fizet elég” (you're far too important to carry everything, let me help)—an apt description of this small but muscular hound we've cross-bred for our own selfish purposes. Pups come in three distinct colors:
• apricot-fawn with a blue face mask
• or all black
...but were are working on genetic options to include green, purple and our greatest request: PINK HOUNDSTOOTH. Our customers love the large round head, the big, sparkling eyes, and the wrinkled brow Mr. Bobo™ sports. We love it too--as it gives Mr. Bobo™ a range of gnome-like expressions. THINK ABOUT IT: now you can impress your friends with looks of surprise, happiness, and curiosity—which delight every owner (especially when they have no one else to talk to).
Advanced Gene Splicing for The Rich
We may be motivated by money, but we still think Mr. Bobo™ is the ideal housedog because each and every pup is handpicked to ensure 100% owner compliance! He's genetically groomed to make sure he's always happy, whether carrying your priceless and unbelievably heavy wares in the deep city or running with you from those scary criminal elements in the depths of District 12. We also spared no expense1 to make sure Mr. Bobo™ responds adorably around kids or with the slow, stinky, "elderly" gnomes some keep around for some reason. Mr. Bobo™ is no ordinary pet dressed in a patent-pending GearGrabber™ pack to carry up to (but not to exceed) 51lbs of your precious personals. OhhhHHHH NO! EVERY pup loves their food (regardless of the garbage you feed them)!! How is that POSSIBLE, Ashlee? Because we've gene-spliced the little bundle of joy with our local industrial hogs to enhance their immune system and digestion process so they can survive on virtually anything2. In addition, Mr. Bobo™ never sheds or requires trimming, so save that money for your OWN pedicure ladies! Lastly, Mr. Bobo™ does best in moderate climates—not too hot or too cold—but, with proper care (OR our patent-pending Rectal Cooling Coil™), Mr. Bobo™ can be their adorable selves anywhere.
OFFICIAL Mr. Bobo SPECSThe following is included with every handpicked pup, guaranteed to be the best possible companion for socially-awkward owners.
C.C.K. Breed Popularity:Ranks 52 of 322
Life Expectancy:13-15 years
Life Expectancy using S.N.O.B.Y.™ chip:*see footnote #3
100% Genuine Leather P.A.C.(Perfectly Aligned Carrier)
Our triple reinforced Mr. Bobo™ body-P.A.C. provides you with enough pockets and foldable platforms to load Mr. Bobo™ with up to 51lbs of material. Don't worry about him--he's been genetically modified not to complain...AND we increased his bone density to support that load!
MASTER COMMANDS(also included with every Mr. Bobo™)
• Bite! (attack)
• Potty! (pee/poo-poo)
• Get Help!
For custom commands and professional training of your Mr. Bobo™ outside our packages, we recommend PREMIUMPUPPYTRANING.COM
Wait, there's MORE!!As we ALL know, pet laws can be a bit strict due to overpopulation:
Hound owners not specifically licensed for 'animal display and public interaction' are forbidden to take any domestic animal into a public venue. An automatic fine of 600 credits and up to 45 days in district containment will be enforced.Well, GUESS WHAT!?! Because your business is SO important to us, we have a super-duper offer, just for our ELITE clientele!
ASHLEE'S AWESOME IDEAS LLC
624N Ringtone Heights, 44th Floor
Suite 803, DISTRICT 4
All sales are final.